


Panic

by feelsforever



Category: Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: Action, Cute, Dramatic, F/M, Florence - Freeform, Fluff, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, after series, romitri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 14:52:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3900361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feelsforever/pseuds/feelsforever





	Panic

It was yet another scorching day in Florence, Italy which made me extremely sweaty and uncomfortable. If it weren't for the fact that I was acutely aware of how close Dimitri and I were walking, I would have given up my subtle attempts of probing his mind ages ago.

We were there guarding Lissa or queen Vasillia as she was now known on important court business.

I tried to focus on my task at hand; finding out why he had been acting so strangely toward me lately yet I found that task almost impossible as every time our arms brushed against each other I felt a sudden serge of lightning rush through my body as I always had.

Despite my looming guilt over what Adrian felt when he found out about us, the more time I spent with Dimitri, the more my heart seemed to thud within my chest, which I fought hard to hide behind my snarky comments and jokes. His presence affected me so much so now that I was amazed that I hadn't keeled over yet. There was no doubt in my mind that I was in love with him; he was and always will be my Dimka; my man. I longed to scream this to the world but knew that as long as he and I remained to be guardians, we could never let that happen. We couldn't tell anyone about our feelings for it would put our moroi charges at too much risk as he was very keen to point out as if we weren't careful and got to close, we may risk their lives whilst trying to protect each other and as I knew full well, they come first.

I looked up at his lean neck where his brown hair which dusted his strong jaw had been pulled back in a short pony-tail that I loved so much. Up to his handsome face as I so often did. I traced the line of his perfectly shaped chin with my eyes, up past those lips which had kissed my own with such passion and desire; up to his beautiful eyes; those eyes that could see into my very soul and read my every thought and desire. They reminded me of deep rich chocolate that I could melt into as soon as they locked onto my own.For once the leather cowboy duster was resting over one of his strong arms as his other hand searched for my own, therefore jolting me out of my daze. I squeezed his hand in mine. I could tell that he was nervous but he didn't let go all the same. We walked like this in silence for a short while until he finally spoke.

"Rose, I- I don't think I can keep this up much longer;" his Russian accent like rich velvet flowing through the air however he seemed uncertain and I couldn't work out why which frustrated me.

Although I'd deny it if anyone called me up on it, the uncertainty in his voice worried me no matter how much I loved it when he called me by my Russian nickname. He always knew what to say and that was how it should be. I had only ever seen him looking so vulnerable when Lissa had first saved him.

He tortured himself for weeks, months even, about the things he had done whilst he was a strigoi and I didn't like it at all. He had always been so strong, almost indestructible in my eyes, weakness was not an emotion I was used to seeing on him, and it was certainly not something I wanted to witness again in a hurry.

"Wow comrade, you take down an entire strigoi army single-handedly yet a little heat and you're down for the count!" I joked as I always did to hide my true feelings.

I didn't know where this was going but I didn't like the tone he had used. He shook his head in exasperation. Now that was something I was certainly familiar with.

I saw a hint of a smile play upon his lips, but as usual, that was the only clue he gave as to what he was feeling apart from of course those eyes which told me both everything and yet somehow nothing at all.

He sighed and began again. "Rose I'm not talking about the weather, I'm talking about us!"

Oh no, here it came; the words that I'd been dreading this whole time. I don't love you any more. Those six little words would be all it took to end this bliss; the words I had dreaded but had been waiting for. There would be something coming, some reason why we couldn't be together any more. No more stolen kisses, no more whispered I love you's, no more holding hands under the protection of the shadows cast by the large old trees which stood outside the moroi court or sneaking into each other's room's for 'extra training sessions'. I steeled myself for what was to come next.

"Roza I -"

Here it came, the beginning of the end. I didn't know if I could deal with that again but I supposed I was going to find out very soon. I felt sick to my stomach, a large lump the size of a golf ball was forming in my throat and I felt tears filling my eyes but I wouldn't let them fall.

"I love you so much." He said as he let his duster fall to the ground and reached for my other hand.

I waited for him to add 'but' and when he didn't say anything else I breathed a sigh of great relief. It was as though a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

"You- you what?" I asked.

As I spoke, hot silent tears rolled down my cheeks and I hastily wiped them away on my shoulder. 

"B- But I thought -"

There was a moment of realisation as his eyes widened with shock. He took me in his arms and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.He reached up and gently wiped away a remaining tear which had escaped and was now running down my cheek.

"I could never stop loving you Roza." He said in a sort of whisper as he leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on my lips before looking into my eyes. "I need someone to keep me from getting a big head about my worrier god status, don't I?" He said, and we both laughed at his joke, he had the sort of laugh that was thick in the air and wrapped around my body making me feel safe.

With tears still glistening in my eyes, I lifted my mouth up to meet his and he kissed me again as he pushed his long gentle fingers through my hair whilst the other caressed my neck, bare shoulders and upper back making me feel week with all consuming delight.

He broke the kiss after what felt like forever but must have only been a few minutes and rested his forehead on mine to look into my eyes. He was smiling again; one of those real and full and joyous smiles which I almost never had the pleasure of seeing.

I tried to loose myself in the bliss of the moment but there was something still lingering at the back of my mind. If he really loved me like he said he did then why would he be acting so different lately? What happened to the strong confident Dimitri that I knew and dearly loved to make him act the way he was lately. I hated to ruin the moment but I had to know what it was that had put the uncertainty into his voice.

I lifted my head up for the moment and broke the intimacy between us slightly. "If you're not going to break up with me then what's the problem?"

"The problem?" he repeated, dropping his arms to his side.

"Why have you been acting so differently all week? I know it isn't about Lissa because I would know if there was something wrong through the bond and the way you kissed me just now I know that I can't be the problem so what is it?"

"You noticed." The way he said it made it sound like more of a statement than a question which made me worry more because even he knew that he'd been acting strangely. I put one hand on his neck as an attempt to get him to look into my eyes. He looked down at me and sighed.

"It is something to do with me isn't it?"He thought for a moment.

"Yes and no." He said. "My feelings for you haven't changed and they never will. I'm just sick of always having to hide all the time. I think we should stop hiding what we have."

That was something I had not been expecting him to say. He was always ready to do what was right and necessary no matter what he was feeling. I was the reckless one who always questioned the rules when they don't suit me. This was the sort of thing that I would be expected to say but not him; that's why I was so surprised at what he said.

"So do I but we both know that we can't do that."

I think he was as surprised as I had been at my last comment. It was a complete role reversal. It was like we had spent so much time together, we were actually starting to turn into each other.

"Now who's teaching who the Zen life lessons?" he laughed.

I gasped in mock horror. "Looks like you're responsible attitude must be rubbing off on me after-all comrade. I think I need to go hang out with Christian. And fast! This new "sensible" me might ruin my snarky badass reputation."


End file.
